The decision to enter the Ms. Illinois United States pageant was made after my sister, Carlyn Bradarich, placed 5th runner up at the nationally televised Miss USA pageant in 2014. Up until that point in our lives, we had a struggling relationship, hardly ever taking the time to speak to one another. She watched my pageant competitions in 2009 and 2010 and never thought she would enter one herself, but then decided to take the plunge. Through her preparation for Miss Iowa USA and then Miss USA in 2014, we slowly began working together more and more. Her attitude, demeanor and positivity throughout the process inspired me to reconsider my involvement in pageantry, and to choose an organization that could really exemplify the attributes I had to offer.
Together, we researched and decided to enter the Miss United States pageant for Illinois in separate divisions. Throughout our preparation for the pageant on March 29th of this year, my relationship with Carlyn grew to the 10th degree. We went from hardly speaking to speaking or at least texting nearly every day, and truly depending on the strong suits of one another to present our best selves on pageant weekend. When the big day arrived, after all of our hard work, she was announced Miss Illinois World for 2015. When my name was called as the new Ms. Illinois United States, and we knew we would get to "reign" together and move on to the next phase on competition together, we were ecstatic. The Miss United States Organization is about being a family, and that has been proven to me over and over again throughout my experience with them. The relationship it has allowed me to build with my sister truly speaks volumes. I am over the moon excited to continue this journey alongside such an incredible, young, spunky, driven and beautiful young woman.
Entering the pageant was about more than just my personal family values, though. I had something to prove to myself.
With 5 additional years of life experience under my belt since my first major pageant, I have learned an incredible amount about myself, pageantry, and life in general. When a new titleholder earns a crown, it really is about more than becoming a celebrity with a shiny piece of headgear. It is about representing the organization which allowed you to earn that role, becoming a strong partner and advocate for the causes which you represent together, and really striving to inspire those with whom you interact throughout your reign.
Oftentimes when I enter into conversations involving pageantry, people immediately refer to Miss America. They ask questions about my talent, among other things, and I politely educate them on the fact that just like any business, there are many different organizations offering unique opportunities. Therefore, there are different organizational cultures, goals, and areas of focus for each pageant system. When deciding to enter a pageant, it is very important to understand the organization you're choosing to "apply for" and how their goals align with yours.
At that time when I competed for the USA system, I unfortunately had a flawed understanding of what it took to present the best version of myself for that title. I was under the impression that to be thin enough to achieve the "pageant body" that most winners had, I must severely limit my calorie intake. I strongly believe that this misdirection began at a very young age, when I convinced myself that I could only be thin enough to look good if I burnt off more calories than I consumed. And how could this be done? In my mind, it could only be achieved by extreme amounts of working out (I now know that is not healthy), or by limiting the amount of food I eat (also very very unhealthy).
Following my reign and the endless struggles I experienced due to the crash dieting I put myself through during that time, I ended up very sick, depressed, gaining weight like crazy, unable to function as normal, and without an ounce of the confidence I once had. This was really due to no fault but my own, and was simply because I lacked understanding of health and how to properly treat my body to achieve the results I wanted. It took a serious amount of suffering before I started educating myself on the human body and its reaction to food, and it took me 4 years, 10 months and 13 days to bring my body to be able to compete again. I am very proud to say that I absolutely felt more fit on the Ms. Illinois United States stage than I have at any other local or national pageant, and that I did not miss a single meal to be there - yahoo!!
Unfortunately, I am not the only woman who has experienced this type of mental and physical illness while competing in a pageant, or in life in general. This in and of itself is a problem! It is my deep desire with this title to truly exemplify "beauty with a purpose," by being the living example of how to properly treat and nourish your body to achieve the results you desire. As Ms. Illinois United States 2015, I look forward to working with young men and women to help them learn and understand how to properly and healthfully gain confidence in being their true self, get involved with their community in their own way, and ultimately do whatever makes their spirit soar. Having an opportunity to return to the pageant stage after a 5-year hiatus is something I really didn't expect, but it is one that I am truly grateful and excited for - I have really learned and have grown up a lot since 2010!
My intent for this blog is to write about my experiences throughout my reign, the most exciting of which, to me, will be my participation in the national Ms. United States Pageant in Washington D.C. on July 3rd and the preparations it will take to get there. If my goal this year is be a role model who can educate and inspire others on how to properly treat their body and mind, I can at least start by sharing what I have learned and experimented with to be here today. That way my readers can learn, educate and experiment for themselves based on anything they've observed here.
At the end of the day it is simple - we are all different, but we all want to be happy and healthy. I will never be a size 0 without starving, and I have learned that that's absolutely OK, because that's me. Wouldn't you agree that happiness and confidence are more beautiful than most other attributes?! I sure would! There are lots of ways to exude inspiration and confidence beyond a small waistline. Inspiration and confidence are about being the best version of YOURSELF. For me, that means fueling my body with food and energy that will help me be alert, feeling good, and performing at my best. You simply need to figure out what works for you on an individual level and surround yourself with friends, family, and organizations who embrace the loveliness that is you! I hope that by sharing what I've learned, what I know, and my experiences during my reign, I can inspire at least one person to better understand his or her own body, treat it well, and look and feel more confident than ever before across all aspects of his or her life.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read my blog. I will be back with more, soon!
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