Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right!

Over the last few weeks I have been exposed to an extreme amount of driven, excited, yet challenged women. Myself included. As my pageant sisters and I prepare for the national competition (taking place in less than 4 weeks now!) we are carrying with us a plethora of emotions.

It is easy to let the idea of winning and competition challenge our thoughts, unless we choose to remember that every thing we do in this life is about the journey and the experience. At the end of the day, each of us will show up to our national competition as our very best self. However, only one girl will win, and it isn't up to us who that person will be. The only thing within our control is being entirely ourselves, prepared for greatness no matter what the outcome of the competition is on July 3rd.

What I've come to realize in sports, pageantry, work, and life in general, is that as long as you are showing up with your best self and your best intentions, you've already won - always. We just can't allow ourselves to forget about enjoying the journey.

What I've gained through my experience with the Miss United States Organization to date has been life-changing. This organization is a fully supporting family of talented, ambitious and positive people. When I am feeling great about nationals, they are excited for me, and when I am feeling discouraged, they are right there to lift me back up. As I go on preparing myself for nationals, one thing continues to ring true:

"Whether you think you can or you think you can't - you are absolutely right."

4 weeks to go - lets do this!

Sleep

I haven't had much time for sleep lately. Actually, it has been nearly impossible to get more than 3-4 hours in one night for almost 3 weeks now. Not entirely due to a lack of trying though. Many nights I will fall asleep early enough, but wake up mid-night with some worry on my mind and never be able to fall back asleep.

Today, I finally have a morning where I have no where to be until 9am (this is a miracle in my book). However, I was still awake by 5:30 because I simply couldn't sleep. Darn it!

I have been noticing how much of an impact sleep (or lack thereof) has on my health - nearly as much as food & fitness, actually. Without a proper night's rest, my body (and probably yours too) simply cannot function at its peak. Not only has my brain been in complete zombie mode for the past few weeks, but I absolutely struggle to get moving, especially at the gym. Workouts that used to be easy for me are very difficult, and problems at work that use to take no effort are now grueling. In addition to this, I am finding myself more emotional, worrisome, stressed, and irritable - and who wants that?

Through my research of the Whole 30 Program and really striving to be strict about health over the next few weeks (during my journey to nationals in Washington DC), I am learning how food has a profound effect on one's sleep. According to my research, when we eat foods that don't agree with our bodies it actually does have the tendency to keep us up at night. With the right, healthy, whole foods, our bodies are able to rest more easily without interruption.

This is more motivation to stay on track - I need sleep, darn it!

The pageant is in less than 7 weeks now. I will strive to get some good food, activity, and rest for my body to prepare me for the magnificent adventure of the national competition!

Eating Whole 30

I've been saying for weeks that I'm going to start another "Whole 30," but my social life keeps allowing me to make excuses (woe is me). I started fresh again today by waking up early to prepare proper meals so I wouldn't get stuck at work making excuses such as, "Well I'm starving, and its only one cookie ... [one cookie as big as my head, but its still just one]." Ooops.

I've been great all day, but now the hard part begins ... dinner time! Dun dun dun.

I'm meeting someone at a new restaurant in a few minutes (he says its great, I've never been), and little miss adventurous me loooooves trying new food. So how do I stick to my Whole 30 guns while still enjoying the yum yums? With will power, of course!

The reason I love Paleo and the Whole 30 program is because it keeps my body in shape -- not what everyone might consider the "perfect" shape (whatever that even is), but the shape that is suitable for my body type and preference. Additionally, it gives me energy, helps me sleep better, makes me feel good all around, and because there is a way to eat alongside the "guidelines" of Whole 30 without feeling deprived no matter what restaurant I scurry off to for the evening.

I'm writing this blog post partly because I'm excited about nearly finishing Day One and being one day closer to completing another Whole 30 challenge, and partly because I needed to get this out there to the world to encourage me to stick to the plan.

I can do this - here I go! Yum yum yum :)

An Uplifting Sisterhood

My life is full of many blessings, and I am grateful for the prosperity and good fortune I have experienced this year. However, that doesn't mean I am living without my own versions of challenge and hardship.

Yesterday was an unexpectedly difficult day for me, where I suddenly felt many of the things I was excited about vanishing before my eyes. It is easy to become sad, disheartened, and even lose confidence in oneself when things don't work out the way we once hoped. For hours yesterday I felt frustrated, sad, angry, and hopeless, wondering what I could have done better. I felt as if I was left to tackle the world entirely on my own, but as an unconfident Ashley.

I wasn't.

What I realized during this moment of weakness is how much love and goodness there is beyond the let-downs, if only we give ourselves the opportunity to see them. I had a pageant event last night with some women very close to me who reminded me that I am amazing just the way I am, and being myself is absolutely good enough -- always.

Why is this remarkable?

Because of the incredible sisterhood and example shown by these strong, confident and powerful women. My pageant sisters within the Miss United States Organization go out of their way to lift each other up. And by doing so last night, they helped to reinstill the confidence I had briefly lost.

Pageantry truly is about so much more than a pretty girl with a shiny crown. It is about banding together to lift, encourage, and support each other. We all work toward the common goals of confidence and happiness, and to receive that support yesterday was something that reminded me how special my pageant family is, and how blessed my life is.

Everyone goes through tough circumstances. However, no matter what hardships we're dealing with in life, we are never left to tackle the heartache on our own. By recognizing the many blessings that still remain, and understanding how truly amazing you are, there isn't a thing or person in the world who can take away your confidence or powerful self.

Today is May 1st. Its a new day, a new month, and a new beginning. I am empowered to be the best Ashley I can be every day, but today, more than ever, I want to conquer the world not by myself, but with the love and support of the many wonderful people in my life. At the end of the day, everything happens for a reason. If I have faith and believe that I am exactly where I am meant to be, then there is absolutely nothing to fear.

We are all perfect and amazing just the way we are - and that's all we need to be!

Fats & Whole 30

I've spent the last 15 years of my life trying to avoid foods containing "fats," because like so many other people, I was afraid that fats would make me fat.

WRONG!

The decision to start consuming fats on a regular basis was maybe one of the top 5 best decisions I've ever made. Everyone is different, and you can easily do a quick google search about fats and read plenty of interesting information, however, what it really comes down to is experimenting on yourself.

When I discovered the power of adding fats into my diet, I also discovered the positively wonderful world of Paleo. I had attempted to eat a diet inline with the Paleo lifestyle for quite a few months without success, having far too many cheat days here and there. Then I discovered the Whole 30 program. This program insists on a very strict Paleo regime for 30 full days, without an ounce of cheating allowed or you must begin all over again.

My first Whole 30 challenge was in January 2015. I really put in the time, effort & commitment during this month, and I saw an incredible transformation. I just began a second Whole 30 challenge yesterday, as I would like it to kick-start my training for the national Ms. United States Competition in July.

Here are some of the things I noticed during my first Whole 30 challenge that I hope to discover again this time around:

1. Eating more fats kept me much fuller for much longer
2. I never felt disgusting after eating, even if it was a gigantic amount of food
3. I lost a significant amount of weight without adding any additional exercise to my routine
4. I didn't feel the constant urge to snack; I could go many hours between meals without suffering
5. For the first time in my entire life (ENTIRE. LIFE.) my digestive system was working properly
6. I didn't look or feel bloated
7. I slept through the night without waking up once, and I fell asleep quickly
8. I stopped nodding off at the wheel or during boring meetings (major plus!)
9. I was able to lift harder and run faster/longer during workouts
10. I haven't been sick for one single day since changing my diet

Overall, I just felt better and happier by the end of the 30 days. When I came off the challenge, I still ate mostly Paleo foods, but with a little more flexibility.

I am very excited, and will definitely keep you updated on how this challenge goes. For now - I've got to go eat some fats!

Show a Little Love

I read an article today called "6 Ways to Boost Your Body Image and Self Esteem." I found that it relates well to what I've been trying to communicate over the past few months -- accepting your body, and treating it with love.

According to the article, the majority of men and women react negatively when thinking about the least favorite part of their body -- some as often as once per hour. What?!?! I'll admit, I have more than one body part I'd like to improve, but we have got to move our thoughts away from constantly criticizing ourselves, and work harder at displaying some love.

I was recently introduced to a wonderfully impressive woman, author, and entrepreneur named Louise Hay. Louise was diagnosed with an "incurable" cervical cancer in the 1980's, and she attributes the development to the resentment she held over her childhood abuse and rape. She refused conventional medical treatment and instead began a regime of forgiveness, coupled with therapy, nutrition, reflexology, and occasional enemas. Now, 30 years later, Louise continues to live a very fulfilling life, and she inspires many men and women through her work -- including yours truly!

When I read the article linked above, I immediately thought of the work I have done for myself through Louise Hay's inspiration. Louise has a number of publications and a website where she encourages folks to enroll themselves in positive affirmations. These affirmations are meant to be read allowed and often to enforce our own self-worth. For me, they have proven to be very powerful! I am a firm believer that the things that we think about manifest into reality. Therefore, for me, it is critical to stay positive.

What reading that article today reenforced for me is that we are in charge of our own thoughts, and we are capable of removing negativity to once again believe in our self worth. It claims the following 6 things will aid in achieving confidence and esteem:

1) Get the facts. Everyone is fighting their own demons. Look around you and be realistic about how rare having the "perfect body" really is.

2) Stop comparing. You have very unique qualities. Exemplify your best self and appreciate what you have. Seriously!

3) Step away from the mirror. Or at least, don't let the mirror allow you to shame yourself. Change any negative thoughts to be thankful, grateful and proud of the person you see, knowing that some things (such as weight) can be changed. Find some positive affirmations to say to yourself when negative thoughts enter your mind.

4) Focus on health before appearance. I completely agree with this one, as this is what I, myself, have struggled with over the past few years. When we get an image in our minds of what perfection looks like and we take unhealthy steps to achieve it, we truly aren't helping anything. Embrace your health, and treat your mind, spirit and body with respect, and it will surely transform you into the perfect version of yourself. After all - if you ruin your body, you'll have no where else to live!

5) Change what you can. Lets face it, some things are simply beyond our control. However, others are not, and you can take action to change them if you really want to.

6) Live a passionate life. This is the icing on the cake. When we have a life with purpose, passion and love for ourselves and others, we don't have time to focus on negative body image because we are too involved with the things that make the world go 'round.

I have certainly never heard anyone at a funeral saying, "Boy, so-and-so sure was thin her whole life, good for her." No! They say things like, "Wow, so-and-so was an inspiration. She really lived a fulfilling life helping others, being kind ..." etc etc.

Look deep inside and determine what your best self looks like, then work hard to achieve those results. We live in a wonderful world where are all in charge of our own thoughts and actions. Stop complaining and thinking negatively and get out there and shine! Really ... go! :)

Introduction to Ms. Illinois United States 2015

Many friends and family have asked me why I decided to compete in the Ms. Illinois United States Pageant. For the past 5 years following my reign as Miss Illinois USA 2010, I have been adamant about the fact that I was retired from the pageant stage. However, as life would have it, things don't always happen the way we plan, and to my extreme excitement, I am beyond blessed to be the new Ms. Illinois United States for 2015!!

The decision to enter the Ms. Illinois United States pageant was made after my sister, Carlyn Bradarich, placed 5th runner up at the nationally televised Miss USA pageant in 2014. Up until that point in our lives, we had a struggling relationship, hardly ever taking the time to speak to one another. She watched my pageant competitions in 2009 and 2010 and never thought she would enter one herself, but then decided to take the plunge. Through her preparation for Miss Iowa USA and then Miss USA in 2014, we slowly began working together more and more. Her attitude, demeanor and positivity throughout the process inspired me to reconsider my involvement in pageantry, and to choose an organization that could really exemplify the attributes I had to offer.

Together, we researched and decided to enter the Miss United States pageant for Illinois in separate divisions. Throughout our preparation for the pageant on March 29th of this year, my relationship with Carlyn grew to the 10th degree. We went from hardly speaking to speaking or at least texting nearly every day, and truly depending on the strong suits of one another to present our best selves on pageant weekend. When the big day arrived, after all of our hard work, she was announced Miss Illinois World for 2015. When my name was called as the new Ms. Illinois United States, and we knew we would get to "reign" together and move on to the next phase on competition together, we were ecstatic. The Miss United States Organization is about being a family, and that has been proven to me over and over again throughout my experience with them. The relationship it has allowed me to build with my sister truly speaks volumes. I am over the moon excited to continue this journey alongside such an incredible, young, spunky, driven and beautiful young woman.

Entering the pageant was about more than just my personal family values, though. I had something to prove to myself. 

With 5 additional years of life experience under my belt since my first major pageant, I have learned an incredible amount about myself, pageantry, and life in general. When a new titleholder earns a crown, it really is about more than becoming a celebrity with a shiny piece of headgear. It is about representing the organization which allowed you to earn that role, becoming a strong partner and advocate for the causes which you represent together, and really striving to inspire those with whom you interact throughout your reign.

Oftentimes when I enter into conversations involving pageantry, people immediately refer to Miss America. They ask questions about my talent, among other things, and I politely educate them on the fact that just like any business, there are many different organizations offering unique opportunities. Therefore, there are different organizational cultures, goals, and areas of focus for each pageant system. When deciding to enter a pageant, it is very important to understand the organization you're choosing to "apply for" and how their goals align with yours.

At that time when I competed for the USA system, I unfortunately had a flawed understanding of what it took to present the best version of myself for that title. I was under the impression that to be thin enough to achieve the "pageant body" that most winners had, I must severely limit my calorie intake. I strongly believe that this misdirection began at a very young age, when I convinced myself that I could only be thin enough to look good if I burnt off more calories than I consumed. And how could this be done? In my mind, it could only be achieved by extreme amounts of working out (I now know that is not healthy), or by limiting the amount of food I eat (also very very unhealthy).

Following my reign and the endless struggles I experienced due to the crash dieting I put myself through during that time, I ended up very sick, depressed, gaining weight like crazy, unable to function as normal, and without an ounce of the confidence I once had. This was really due to no fault but my own, and was simply because I lacked understanding of health and how to properly treat my body to achieve the results I wanted. It took a serious amount of suffering before I started educating myself on the human body and its reaction to food, and it took me 4 years, 10 months and 13 days to bring my body to be able to compete again. I am very proud to say that I absolutely felt more fit on the Ms. Illinois United States stage than I have at any other local or national pageant, and that I did not miss a single meal to be there - yahoo!!

Unfortunately, I am not the only woman who has experienced this type of mental and physical illness while competing in a pageant, or in life in general. This in and of itself is a problem! It is my deep desire with this title to truly exemplify "beauty with a purpose," by being the living example of how to properly treat and nourish your body to achieve the results you desire. As Ms. Illinois United States 2015, I look forward to working with young men and women to help them learn and understand how to properly and healthfully gain confidence in being their true self, get involved with their community in their own way, and ultimately do whatever makes their spirit soar. Having an opportunity to return to the pageant stage after a 5-year hiatus is something I really didn't expect, but it is one that I am truly grateful and excited for - I have really learned and have grown up a lot since 2010!

My intent for this blog is to write about my experiences throughout my reign, the most exciting of which, to me, will be my participation in the national Ms. United States Pageant in Washington D.C. on July 3rd and the preparations it will take to get there. If my goal this year is be a role model who can educate and inspire others on how to properly treat their body and mind, I can at least start by sharing what I have learned and experimented with to be here today. That way my readers can learn, educate and experiment for themselves based on anything they've observed here.

At the end of the day it is simple - we are all different, but we all want to be happy and healthy. I will never be a size 0 without starving, and I have learned that that's absolutely OK, because that's me. Wouldn't you agree that happiness and confidence are more beautiful than most other attributes?! I sure would! There are lots of ways to exude inspiration and confidence beyond a small waistline. Inspiration and confidence are about being the best version of YOURSELF. For me, that means fueling my body with food and energy that will help me be alert, feeling good, and performing at my best. You simply need to figure out what works for you on an individual level and surround yourself with friends, family, and organizations who embrace the loveliness that is you! I hope that by sharing what I've learned, what I know, and my experiences during my reign, I can inspire at least one person to better understand his or her own body, treat it well, and look and feel more confident than ever before across all aspects of his or her life.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my blog. I will be back with more, soon!